New low: just hacked my moms facebook
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
