What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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