dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
