Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
