She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
