You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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