May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
