the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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