I wish i was in the wii world.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's blow job season.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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