The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need water and some morals
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
