I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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