Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I can't turn off my feet"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
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