you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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