So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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