we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
