Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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