He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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