bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize