next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
