ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
