saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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