I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
