Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
