dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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