toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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