Its about making memories worth repressing
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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