just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize