Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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