I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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