He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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