she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
