it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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