Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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