I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
