Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
