I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
