At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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