I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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