I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
