i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
