OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
