I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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