i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
