why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
