Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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