So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
