totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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