and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
