I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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