I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
