what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
