who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
