Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
