YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
