Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize