i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
