id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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