if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
