Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
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I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once