Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
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Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
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So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night