Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.

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(303): View more from Colorado

other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do

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(404): View more from Georgia

He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying

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(443): View more from Maryland

At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(413): View more from Massachusetts

i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.

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(904): View more from Florida

It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk

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(224): View more from Illinois

We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"

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