escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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