Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial

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  (404): Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial http://tfl.nu/i0mg
  Replies (27) Good night (4709) Bad night (634)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser

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  (313): you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser http://tfl.nu/1hpm
  Replies (16) Good night (4452) Bad night (837)
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  (646): View more from New York

  You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.

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  (646): You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/aqj7
  Replies (15) Good night (7707) Bad night (1243)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.

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  (206): He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful. http://tfl.nu/c0jh
  Replies (29) Good night (1000) Bad night (3439)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.

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  (352): Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot. http://tfl.nu/hytm
  Replies (6) Good night (3843) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me

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  (703): i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me http://tfl.nu/57r1
  Replies (1) Good night (2045) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.

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  (515): Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake. http://tfl.nu/j6cx
  Replies (3) Good night (2613) Bad night (1104)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.

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  (678): Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody. http://tfl.nu/1fu4
  Replies (2) Good night (724) Bad night (2112)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads

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  (715): Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads http://tfl.nu/v7qu
  Replies (10) Good night (1891) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)

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  (206): Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :) http://tfl.nu/j8zz
  Replies (20) Good night (3892) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.

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  (954): my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer. http://tfl.nu/ka6k
  Replies (1) Good night (740) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.

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  (586): Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country. http://tfl.nu/f3mx
  Replies (2) Good night (1059) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!

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  (660): I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification! http://tfl.nu/z1dt
  Replies (5) Good night (1076) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche

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  (612): I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche http://tfl.nu/ro2o
  Replies (5) Good night (752) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag

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  (402): Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag http://tfl.nu/vpku
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (351)

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