Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
