it was like his penis was on wheels.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancĂ© called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT