problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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