You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
