omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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