Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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