I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
